Ladies you can’t change a man...EVER!

Raise your hand if you have tried to change a man…aah ha. OK, raise your hand if you are currently with a man that “just ain’t acting right”. I see. You mean if he would just do This, This, This and THIS he would be THE PERFECT MAN! Yes, yes, I see. Nod your head Yes, if you feel like you are constantly banging your head against the wall getting the same results (if any) because he’s still doing the same things that you can’t stand. Or, he will not change the 1 or 2 or 3 things you hate the most.

How about him just doing that one little thing that you want so much from him (besides sex), just so you can know he loves you? Are you always arguing about the same thing that he just won’t change, like saving Friday nights for you and him instead of the fellas? I could go on and on and on with the examples and questions. I speak from experience. He isn’t going to change AND you are NOT going to change him.

In case you didn’t know this, most women experience the deepest heartbreaks when they’ve married or committed to a man that they thought they could change, or they thought he would change…one day. It is only 5, 10, 12 years later that you realize…he is who he is and ain’t nothing changing that brotha.

The MVQ (Most Valuable Question) is: How do I recognize that I am trying to change him?

It’s really simple…the exact moment you say to yourself... “Oh, that’s O.K., he’ll change”,
at that very moment, you have conceded to ALL things that are important to you in a relationship and are most likely headed for an uphill battle of him being who he is and, you forgetting who you are, while trying desperately to change him.

Here’s the thing, there is no such thing as the perfect mate. There’s no way possible that the two of you will see things through the same pair of eyes. He’s not going to be more like you and you’re not going to be more like him. I’ll say maybe for a short time the two of you may mesh some tendencies together but, the real you ALWAYS prevails. Men and women are simply different. We were made different for a reason. Physically, psychologically and historically we are just different. I would love to break down the infinite ways the two species are different but, I think Dr. John Gray has already dissected the dynamics of women and men in his book Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus (Dr. John Gray). I will provide you with a very simple solution that you can incorporate into your life instantly. In fact, you can begin to evaluate your husband, boyfriend, lover, or best friend and see just how you can stop trying to change him if you are, and how to avoid trying to change a man if you might.

The best remedy to avoid this headache ridden, heartache panging, perpetual drama of being mad at HIM because he is who he is, is to recognize that He Is Who He Is! HE just might not be a good fit for you. With that understanding, you owe it to yourself to WO-MAN–Up and connect with a man that you can love Him for being HIM.

Here are a few warning signs of I Can CHANGE HIM Syndrome:
1. When you realize that you are the one that's always angry
2. When you realize that you are the one doing all of the changing
3. The moment you began to feel like you have to second guess yourself about
     what’s important to you but you try to make it important to him
4. He’s not as emotional as you would like for him to be
5. He doesn’t like to talk about problems and seek solutions like you do
6. He’s not affectionate enough for you but you think it will get better
7. If he has a temper is abusive physically, verbally or mentally at any capacity
   but, you believe it will change
8. When you realize he’s moody, but you believe it will change
9. You notice he’s bad with finances and prioritizing but, you believe it will change
10.When he doesn’t get as mad as you do when you argue
***ALERT ALERT ALERT RED HOT WARNIING SIGN!!***
**When you tell him how you feel about what it is that bothers you, and
      he doesn’t change!

Peace is Love, Love is Infinite…
Shelby Hill
Relationship Empowerment Coach

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