Have you ever noticed how often you say to yourself or out loud where can I find a decent man? I’ll bet if you really thought about it, you’d be surprised to learn that you probably say it more than you’re willing to admit. While you’re noticing how many times a day you’re saying I can’t find a good man, also notice the places and environments you are looking for him. This may be your first clue to why you never find him.

I’ve mentioned many times before that it’s important to change up the atmosphere when on the prowl for a compatible mate. Because we are creatures of habit and tend to be comfortable in familiar places, we often find our selves seeing the same familiar faces. Wonder why? Because they are comfortable too! Think about your favorite happy hour bar. This is the place you and a few co workers unwind at a few times a week. Ever notice you see the same crowd of people there just about every time you’re there? How about your favorite weekend club or social establishment? Ever notice that every time you go on Friday, Saturday or Sunday you see the same guys?! It’s pretty funny when you actually think about it. What typically happens is you ultimately begin to tell yourself there’s no place around here to find a decent man. Therefore, the self inflicted brain washing and downward spiral begins.

Here are a few tips for you to pull yourself and your girlfriend out of the matrix. Stop taking the red pill every weekend! Instead take the blue pill and see the melting pot of fun, diverse and sexy establishments around your area. If you are the type that always attends a predominantly black establishment, well, stretch yourself, and visit a well diverse hot spot and meet new people there. All black guys at these establishments aren’t just looking for “white girls”. And, so what if he is, it sure doesn’t mean the two of you can’t generate sparks for each other.

 Ask some of the guys at work where’s the happening place for them to meet women and have a nice time. Trust me, they’ll lead you to the right place and it won’t be your old reliable joint you’ve frequented every other weekend for 3 years. Most decent guys tend to hang out where there are decent women which attract more decent men!

Branch out, and go to lunch with your Caucasian, Hispanic, and Asian co workers. You’d be surprised to learn how much you have in common with them and how much they can share with you about better places to meet and socialize with the kind of guy you’re looking for.

Look at it this way you have EVERYTHING to gain and then some. If nothing else, you have a couple of new places to add to your weekly and weekend social portfolio.

Be Strong. Be Empowered™

Shelby M. Hill
Relationship Empowerment Coach, CEC
Email: shelby@shelbymhillcoaching.com