Have you ever thought about how men and women view dating? Good question right? I mean we take it for granted that we are on the same page of thinking when we meet someone and began to have a relationship with them. It’s almost instantaneous that men and women simply want to make sure we have something in common with each other so there can at least be some topics to discuss over dinner or an ice cream. Truth is men and women view mostly everything differently, especially dating. Here’s an example; my wife sent me this funny email, it goes like this: “I just read an article on the dangers of heavy drinking…Scared the shit out of me. So that’s it! After today, no more reading.”She was cracking up about these three sentences and I could not see the joke. After I read it for the third time (really slowly) I got it…pretty funny. A more fundamental perspective we all can relate to is a man and a woman can be faced with the same exact situation with an obvious solution and they both will get the same solution but will go about getting that solution in entirely different ways. Trust me! I’m challenged with this phenomenon with my better half. This past weekend we purchased two end tables for my office. They came with assembly instructions of course. We both shared frustration with assembling the tables (and she was actually reading the instructions) but, we finished the task, getting the same results but went about it two different ways. Even the best couples with strong communication struggle with understanding what the other is meaning thru words, feelings, physically and of course telepathically J. I believe it would be fair to say that the dating game would be a little less complicated if we understood the differences in how women and men think a little better than we do now. Let’s explore! Let’s start with the ever so complicated male. It’s just natural that men are visually keen. Observing a women’s appearance is instinctive, and un-programmable to men. Men are ordinarily visually enthused when interacting with a woman. Men appreciate the scent of a woman, her dress code, what she’s wearing and how she is wearing it. He appreciates how she walks, how she sounds as he watches her lips move during conversation, whether she makes eye contact with him, whether her eyes blink softly as she watches him watch her. And of course men are definitely stimulated when he views a woman’s body in her birthday suit. Again, men are VERY visual.
The next thing women should know about men is this: most men simply are not big talkers. It’s not to be mistaken that he’s not interested in you. In most cases he wouldn’t have asked you out if there wasn’t some interest. Unfortunately, the perception is “He’s closed off” or “He has his guard up”. But for a woman to expect similar chatty conversation with a man as she would with her girlfriend is most likely improbable. As mentioned in www.coopyrite.net men use an average of 7000 words a day and women use approximately 20,000 words a day. So ladies, it’s not that you talk too much, it’s just you don’t allow men to talk more.
I’m sure this next one most of you already know; most men are capable of focusing their attention only on one task at a time. Although this may by enlarge have some validity, some men are able to multi-task better than you think i.e., changing the channel with the remote, holding a beer, and flipping the burgers on the grill while passing off the credit card to the wife to go to the mall. You see…I have skills! A study conducted by School of Medicine Psychiatry Professor Ruben Gur shows that as men age, there is a definite deterioration in attention span in the brain, while women show little to no deterioration. It’s not an excuse…I promise.
And lastly, men are not that observant. Most men lack in the area of determining when she needs affection, or wants to be held, or wants to feel his closeness. Sometimes, men don’t recognize those little things that are so very important to women such as a new outfit, hair style, new nail designs, or even if he notices if she lost two pounds. Sounds crazy but it’s true. And if he does notice, well let’s just say he better have the right facial expression, tone, and body language when expressing how pleased he is with the “new” her.
Now let’s break down the women. Let’s take it from the top. Women recognize more than just looks when it comes to the visual appearance of a man. She sees his interaction with the people around him, his body language, and how people react in his presence. In addition, most women are not stimulated when the male is viewed in his birthday suit. It’s more stimulating to experience a man’s mind, his voice, his touch, and how he treats her.
Women love to talk…20,000 words day! Women love to talk. Therefore, you have to be careful and not disclose too much information about yourself so quickly when on first dates or beginning to date a man. It’s good to let someone get to know you but, be sure to get to know him as well.
Women are great “multi-taskers” and are able to effectively give attention to each task as needed. It’s pretty fascinating. Hence the tag Super Woman, Song: “Super Woman” by Karyn White and also “Super Woman” by Alicia Keys. Fact: Women use more of their brain when they think. Women are ALWAYS thinking. Therefore, women are much more in tune with her inner self and intuition (John Gray).
Lastly, women are far more observant then men. Women are able to notice the slightest detail in a man’s voice, his energy as soon as he walks into the room. The challenge can be that women are so observant that the expectation is that men be just as observant.
While both men and women are better at some of these things than the other, it does make for valuable knowledge to have better understanding of the differences of how men and women think about dating. It is apparent that men and women have very different ways of processing and interpreting a state of affairs. It definitely doesn’t mean that we can’t all get along. It doesn’t mean that some of us can’t change or learn new things. We must understand that each of our lives is based on our experiences, and we learn each other thru our shared experiences. It is very important that we recognize and respect that we are different and embrace each other when we make a connection with someone that potentially compliments us. It is incredible when those bonds are developed because then the good love we all deserve is emancipated.
Peace is love, love is infinity...Shelby
