What do I do when ALL he wants is SEX…and NO Commitment?

This is a situation that is very common in the dating arena. Often women get into what I call the “sex zone” with a man. The interaction normally starts out with regular dates i.e., movies, dinner, drinks, shows etc. The guy usually talks a good game expressing that he wants all the same things you want out of life and a relationship. He’s ready for a commitment, he wants kids, a good woman, he’s tired of being single, he’s been waiting for Mrs. Right to come into his life just as long as you have been waiting for The Right One!

After you sleep together the first time or two, typically after a couple of months of dating the person, you realize all the two of you do is have sex AND you still don’t have a committed relationship. Everything other than SEX is undefined. You notice he doesn’t take you out anymore and your conversations lately, lack substance.

Now, all the two of you do is hang out at his place or yours. When he does come by, it's only for a short time which usually involves SEX and then he leaves shortly after. Phone conversations become deduced to quick calls with him asking if he can come over or can you come by his place…for SEX.

Once you realize that all he wants is sex, and the topic of Relationship somehow is regularly avoided-- What do you think you should do?

My suggestion: If you feel like it’s nothing more than a ‘sex thing’, and you are in the “sex zone” feeling like there’s no way out, there should be some discussions taking place within yourself.

Start by asking yourself the following empowering questions:

* Ultimately, what do I want from this guy?

* Do I like the way I feel when I’m around him or,
   is it more of I like the way he makes me feel sexually?
   Is this enough for me to continue to give my body to him?

* Do I see more than a sexual relationship with him?
   If so, what does that look like to me?

* Is there more to him than sex?
   If so, what are those attributes?

* Is there more to ME than sex?
   If so, what are those attributes?

* Why am I sleeping with him?

* Am I am settling for what I can get regarding affection instead
   of what I really desire and deserve which is a True relationship
   with a man that Truly wants the same?

You don’t have to limit yourself to these questions only, the point here is to have you really go deep inside and determine your reason for your involvement with this man.

There is a reason why the notion entered your head about the level of your involvement with this man. It would be to your advantage not to ignore this notion. If it feels like “just sex” and he acts like it’s “just sex” then it’s “Just Sex”! Value yourself and pay attention to your instincts... TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. You are feeling this way for a reason. Embrace it and make the necessary changes to protecting your health, heart and peace of mind.

Peace is Love, Love is Infinite…

Shelby M. Hill
Dating/Relationship Empowerment Coach

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