5 Reasons Why Men Lie

Men lie because they choose to. There isn’t a science or documented bibliographical stone tablet hidden in the Amazon that says “Men lie because…” For many reasons (I will name a few) lying for most men is second nature and in some cases first nature. It simply comes natural and they think it’s easier, especially when you first meet. There’s no such thing as a ‘disease’ for lying. I know there’s a name for the ‘act’ of lying frequently and uncontrollably called Pathological Lying but, even that is not diagnosed as a ‘disease’. Pathological lying is actually a symptom of other conditions like personality disorder or obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). Sorry, can’t bail out on that one as an excuse for why men lie. Although lying is pretty much innate in all of us, allow me to share with you my 5 core reasons why Men lie:

Immaturity- A man that lies to women is a clear indication of a low level of maturity. He feels that a woman’s feelings are irrelevant and not to be taken seriously primarily because he doesn’t take himself seriously. He simply hasn’t matured to being accountable for his actions, thoughts and feelings. This lack of responsibility leads to the juvenile practice of lying. Typically when a man matures, he then prides himself on being honest and forthcoming about things pertaining to him i.e., career, money, relationship, goals etc.

Image- Often men lie to make themselves look good or to make someone else look bad. Some men believe that when they are talking about themselves to a woman they have to exaggerate his resume, bank account and material possessions in order to present an illusion of “high” status. This is practiced regularly in clubs, bars and common social events. In most cases if a guy is VOLUNTEERING to you how much money he makes, his investment portfolio, and where he’s been and where he’s supposedly going, it’s really because he wishes he was experiencing all of those things. Remember this, he has a short- term goal, so if you buy into this image, you will not know the truth until after he has taken advantage of you intimately.

He wants SOMETHING from you- Men lie to women because they want something from you…Period. He can be attracted to you, but most likely at first he lusts you. In order to fulfill that lustful attraction he will say anything it takes, tell any lie he can, to get you to a level of comfort so he may conquer. Conquering is what it is all about for many men. Often "conquering” is related to sex but it can also be related to other things as well such as money, material things, status, or career opportunity that you may be able to assist him with.
Tip: Be weary of a man who is too eager to accommodate. He definitely wants SOMETHING from you.

The truth hurts- He lies because he’s afraid you won’t like him for who he is. Trust me a man knows that if he is a “Dog”, “Playa”, or “No Good”. Of course he doesn’t want you to know that. So it’s important for him to master his facade of being “Mr. Right” at all times to all women. This is amazing to me, because I’ve seen it happen hundreds of times whereas a woman follows her instinct, she's able to see right through a man hence the saying “Girl, you can tell he ain’t No Good! Don’t even mess with him.” Men know this; it just hurts when a woman can figure him out before he has his opportunity front.

To make YOU feel good- Men lie because they know women love to hear good things! Compliments are Golden, especially to a woman who can embrace one. Positive words release endorphins in you that make you relax around him and become more receptive. It doesn’t matter if he’s telling you the truth or not. In fact, this makes it much easier for him to embellish. You only know that you feel good listening to him. You are the center of his attention. Naturally if he’s making you feel good by saying just about anything, you are going to want to make him feel good as well. You’re not focused on his lies because it all sounds so good. Trust me; a man knows if his “game” is “tight”.

I know it’s hard ladies. I don’t want you to feel like, GEEESH Shelby, I may as well stop talking to men all together! There’s no need to change to that extent. I just thought it would benefit you to have some understanding of why men lie. I remember waaaay back when I was dating and I’d have conversations with women and asking them things like; “What turns you on?” “What turns you off?” “What type of man do you like?” I would say about 96% of the time they would say with great conviction… “I can’t stand a lying man! If you lie to me, you can forget it!” I know for me, waaaay back then, if I was lying to her, I would gracefully bow out. I didn’t want to get beat down. At least now, when you meet a guy and go out on a date or two and you sense that he’s lying, you can have some frame of reference to draw from and put his so called “game” in check!

Peace is Love, Love is Infinite…
Shelby Hill
Dating/Relationship Empowerment Coach

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